Life Happens: My Journey Back After an Unexpected Hiatus

My Grandma

The title fits me perfectly because I shouldn’t have been gone this long, and I’m sorry, babes. I’ve had a lot going on in my life that kept me from feeling creative or happy. Although I’m not 100% back to that point yet, I have to remember that I use this as my outlet to express how I’m feeling when I can’t put it into words. Things are still fresh in my heart and mind.

The conversation I’m about to have—well, write about—is dear to my heart. I just need a place to pour it out and know someone hears my cry, because deep down, I don’t think I’ll ever truly be okay again. But enough beating around the bush—I’ve been trying to grieve the loss of my dear grandmother over the past few months.

Although I know I’ll never fully heal from losing my best friend, I’m finally at a point where I can talk about why I’ve been missing for so long. She was my world, my everything, and I miss her with all my heart. It doesn’t even feel like she’s gone. I tell myself she’s just in a nursing home. I know that’s not the healthiest way to cope, but until I’m ready to fully come to terms with it, that’s what I tell myself.

Another reason I’ve been missing is because—ya girl got a new job! insert claps I know, I know. My old job cut me loose, but GOD had bigger plans for me. I’m a teacher now! Yes, you heard that right—my introverted and shy self is teaching children. Don’t get it twisted, though—I’m doing my thing (or at least trying to, lol).

There have definitely been challenges along the way. I’ve never been the main teacher in a classroom before, although I’ve worked as a teacher assistant with many great educators. But this is my own little ship now—my classroom. slight panic My rules, my decorations, my space. It’s been a whirlwind knowing I’m in charge of 25+ students all by myself with no extra help. And yes, my 4’11” self is managing kids who are actually taller than me.

It’s been four months so far, and I’m starting to get the hang of things. I’ll admit, I still get nervous with the older kids. They’re grown in their own way, but once you start talking to them, you realize they’re still babies at heart.

I’ll keep y’all updated as the school year continues or wraps up, because whew—I forgot how stressful it is working in the school system!

That’s pretty much it about where I’ve been and why I haven’t posted in a while. But baby girl is back—somewhat refreshed and ready to get back to writing! Shoutout to my best friend (ILY 💕) for yelling at me to take myself more seriously and get back to it. So, here I am.

More content is coming soon, including all the juicy details about my spontaneous trip to London. And the million-dollar question: Is Stella (me) going to get her groove back? 😉 Stay tuned!

I love you Grammie.

-XOXO Makayla 💋